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Good self defense techniques?

I consider myself very strong but whenever someone does try to fight me (even if it is just joking around fighting). I always get nervous and wuss out and don't fight back. Some people say stuff about me saying I'm weak. I know I'm not because I've fought back before I just have the feeling it will go further and make it more of not being a "joking" fight.

My question is this: What are good self defense techniques that I can get out of a hold without really hurting a friend? I'd rather not punch him so hard in the gut he feels tremendous pain.

I need good techniques for anything but the main ones I get are choked from the back with an arm and headlock.

There are good self defences classes around that will teach safe and quick techniques, as well as those for maiming. But words are more powerful.
You are strong in the sense that you know your strength, and the results from using it.
The best way is to find the right situation and say look fellas, You keep doing this, I have had enough, I dont fight back because you are good mates, I probably would start something that i may not know when to stop, and I dont want to hurt anyone and loose being good mates.
Something like that or what you feel comfortable with.
It may take a couple off times but you would find that they would respect you for it.

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Essential Self-Defense Tips: Choke Hold Releases